iLeave

I.

We were all there in Freddie's house, saying all our goodbyes, hugging like there was no tomorrow. Because, apparently, there will be no tomorrow for the three of us. We probably won't see each other ever again, and that's because Freddie would be leaving for Canada. Why he was going to, it wasn't clear to me, nor was it clear to Carly. All we knew is that he was going to leave since his mom was leaving. And Mrs. Benson doesn't particularly trust his son to live alone in the apartment, afraid that he might go swimming with hobos or turn into a carjacker or what. But Carly and I knew better - Freddie wouldn't dare turn into a carjacking guy who loves to swim with hobos. We were all sitting down on the Benson's couch, surrounded by luggage. There was no joy in saying goodbyes. I could personally attest to that.

He smiled at the two of us, sadly. I just can't help but shed a tear or two. I mean, all my life I picked on Freddie. I probably won't find any other guy like him, who tries his best to put up with my insults or argues with me with great skill, I swear he just hid that rebellious personality inside of him. Who doesn't, when your mom insists that you sleep on the floor and you must always get your regular helping of anti-tick lotions?

"Aww, Sam. You're crying." Carly said, smiling and patting me at the back.

"No I'm not... Freddie's just..." I stopped. No use for excuses now. "Oh, what's the point of excuses? I'll miss you, Freddie." I said, hugging him tightly. He hugged back. For I while, I doubted that he was going to let go. But he did. I pulled back, and saw him smiling sadly.

"I'll miss you too, Sam." he said, then turned to my best friend. I remember all of Freddie's efforts trying to get Carly to like him. He admitted to the world that he loves Carly, that he will be her second husband someday and all those trash. I always tried to ignore that. I always tried to shrug it off. I tried not to mind. I mean, why would I? Freddie's not someone I'm supposed to mind with those stuff, right? But no. I HAD to mind. I had to insult him, verbally torture him and all those stuff. Maybe I just grew tired of his fruitless efforts of getting Carly. Maybe I just got tired of Freddie tailing around Carly like some hopeful puppy. Or maybe, I just wanted his attention. Maybe I was just jealous.

"And I'll miss you, Carly." he hugged her. "We might never see each other again." he added, whispering.

"I thought you're gonna be my second husband." she said.

"I... doubt it." He stood up. I stood up too, and so did Carly. We were sending each other off these simple smiles. It was then that I realized how much I enjoyed sparring with Freddie, how much I loved to fight him. I sure he did, too.

"Well, this is it. You guys wanna see me off of the airport?" he asked. Never has Freddie asked me things like these. Carly and I nodded. I should come. It was the last time I'll ever see this brown-eyed boy. Spencer's gonna drive them to the airport, anyway.

II.

I sighed. The sun was shining brightly, the airport was silent. It seems that we were early for the airport, since nobody was there but us, some guards, employees and a few other passengers. This was the weirdest send-off ever. It's like the sun was rejoicing in Freddie's departure. Its warmth bounced off out skins, and if Freddie wasn't leaving, I could've called it a perfect day. It could've been the day I've confessed, and everything would be alright, since Freddie won't leave. But no. Freddie just had to leave. Why did Freddie have to leave?

"Goodluck there, Freddie-o." Spencer said, patting Freddie's back as he smiled. His smile was like the sun, shining. It wasn't the first time I thought of it like that, though. I just didn't want to admit it to myself, or out loud. I had to be happy. Or at least, I tried to. A tear trickled down my face as he looked at me. Carly hugged me tight.

"Sam, be strong." she whispered. I was just silent. I just knew that, in the future, as I replay this scene in my head, I knew that I'd cry. I knew that I'd shed a tear, or two. Or just outright cry. But who cares? Freddie never had that chance to see me cry, anyway. It could be the perfect time to cry here, in front of the boy. Carly let go of me so I could give Freddie one last hug, before he boarded the plane. Apparently, little flights were scheduled this day, so that explains why there was a small amount of passengers.

"Sam, don't cry." Freddie whispered to me. I just can't helpt it. He told me not to cry, and yet I was here, tears streaming down my face in a continuous fountain. I had to cry. Freddie was leaving.

"You know, Sam, you should be happy I'm leaving." he said, smiling, trying to comfort me, to find humor in this. I can't.
"No. I can't be happy." I told him. I heard Mrs. Benson call and tell him to board the plane. We exchanged one more goodbye before he proceeded to board on the plane. With each step he took, I felt like breaking down. I felt like half of my life was being taken away from me, against my will. I can't take this. If Freddie was leaving, he shouldn't leave without knowing how I felt.

"Freddie!"

I came running to him. He turned around, and was almost climbing the steps. He turned around as I charged at him. It happened lightning-fast and in front of the three people who least expected it to happen. But the pressure of Freddie leaving probably just took its toll. Maybe he'd react the same way. They shouldn't expect me to stay standing still there. I seized the boy by his collar, pulled him close to me and crashed our lips together. I didn't want to let go of him. I didn't want to break this kiss. This is the my first and more probably my last kiss with a certain Freddie Benson.

He took the shock quite nicely, seeing that he didn't struggle to push me back. I let go of his collar and wrapped my arms around his neck, still kissing him. He wrapped his own arms around my back. For a while, I felt like this was forever, as if it's the closest thing to heaven that I could ever get. I knew Carly, Spencer and Mrs. Benson stared at the two of us. The two enemies that were holding each other in a tight embrace and a sweet kiss. It felt very un-Sam-like. But why should I care? I just didn't want to let go.

We pulled away, my arms loosening and eventually letting go of him. He did so, too. Now, now the only thing I could do was hold his hand tightly. So I reached for his hand and squeezed it, staring into his brown eyes as he stared into my blue ones.

"Well, that was some goodbye." he said, taking my free hand and holding it firmly.

"I know." I just nodded.

III.

Mrs. Benson, Carly and Spencer approached us, emotion unable to be kept in. Mrs. Benson was smiling so wide. The sun was shining brighter. I just hope I did the right thing.

"Freddie... You could stay if you want to." she told her son. I felt ecstatic. I felt very happy, extremely surprised, and annoyed at Mrs. Benson just telling Freddie now that he could stay.

"I... I could?" he said, in wonder. But what about his mother? What about Canada?

"I was delaying to tell you until either of these girls ran to you." she said, trying to stifle a laugh.

"But what about you?" he asked.

"Oh, I'll be alright. I know you will be, too." she said, looking at me with a smile I never knew could be warm and comforting. I grasped Freddie's hand tighter.

"Thanks, mom." was all he said. He looked into my eyes, as I looked into his brown eyes. Maybe staring made you lost in the world. Maybe he just had a nice set of eyes. Maybe I just got caught up at the moment. Maybe I still can't believe what Mrs. Marissa Benson said, because I just found myself in Freddie's embrace, lips touching together like there was no tomorrow. He wasn't gonna leave. Suddenly, I understood why the sun was celebrating. It knew that this would happen. I smiled in the kiss, and I'm sure Freddie did too.

I pulled back, may hands on Freddie's shoulder.

"Dork." I said.

"Samantha." he whispered.

I pulled him in a tight embrace.