iSee This Twist of Fate

I lost all my reason to keep my resolve for being emotionless. I felt my strength cripple, the walls I tried to hold up break down. I suddenly thought to myself: why did I keep this for so long? Why did I deny it? Why did I even bother trying to keep it from the world? Because I was afraid of how Freddie would react to this. We were arch-enemies and we hated each other. At least, we were supposed to. Suddenly, the tough Sam who had been holding on to the cliff had let go. The tough Sam Puckett was no more. For a while. I studied his cold, calculating gaze. We just argued, like we always did. But his eyes told one thing: He was tired of my abusive behavior. I knew he was ready to tell me this. I just didn't want to hear it. I just wanted to break down, see if he still maintains this behavior. Because if he does, I'll just back off, punch him in the gut and remind him to never speak of this again. He opened his mouth, daring to speak.

"Sam! Look, I'm tired of all these things. I hate the way you abuse me. I hate the way you torture me." he started. I felt my heart sink, but I tried my best not to look afraid, hurt or disappointed. Freddie finally had the courage to tell me what he really felt. Or what he felt now. "I don't like your pranks, the way you often humiliate me in front of every body, the way-" I cut him off. Because at that very moment, I didn't want to hear any of his dorky little reasons and all the stuff he hates about me. I just seized him by the collar and, with gentle force, connected our lips together. It was a gentle kiss, and I felt extremely lightheaded. I pulled him closer, making our kiss deeper. I revelled in the moment. The first time I kissed Freddie. THE Freddie Benson, iCarly's tech whiz. I knew he was taken aback, because his hands fell limp for a while. But soon, he gripped my upper arms gently. I pulled away and stared into his eyes.

"Just... to make sure you'd stop saying all the... things you hate about me." I said. I was looking fiercely into his eyes. He looked dumbstruck, dumbfounded, bewildered and all those adjectives that could best fit him at the moment. He looked terrified at how I stared at him, but somewhat pleased with my little stunt. I softened my gaze. He still didn't let go of my arms, I was still clinging on his collar. I let go of him. He was staring into my eyes, I was staring at eternity.

"Sam... I..." he started, but I looked at him fiercely again. He shut up.

"I don't want any word about how bad I kiss." I said. He shook his head, a bead of sweat trickling down his forehead.

"You aren't. You aren't a bad kisser." he whispered, pulling me close to him. I did my best to struggle the slightest bit, but he didn't let go. I just stopped my tough act and all the pointless efforts. Freddie would know, anyway. I wasn't being the tough Sam Puckett right now. I just broke down.

"Why are we like this?" he asked me. I just shrugged. Why? I didn't know. He provoked me. It's time I tell him exactly what I felt. I felt like crying for no valid reason. I shed a tear. It felt so distant when I thought of the things about me that he was tired about. Tired about the way I abuse him, torture him, humiliating him. My heart sinking felt like a distant memory from the past. I had temporarily let go of the Sam Puckett I grew up to be.

"...So, what now?" I looked into his eyes. He pulled me closer, and slowly, slowly but surely, he leaned in and hesitantly touched my lips with his. It was his own will, and I submitted to it. It's time I let him win. He never did win against me. He kissed me gently, but it was soon deeper, until I pulled away to catch my breath.

"I thought you hated me." he mumbled. I shook my head and fixed my gaze to him. He wasn't moving.

"I didn't mean any harm." I said. "I thought I hated you too. Until I realized how... I can't live without a Freddie."

"So you're saying...?"

"I love you, Freddie." I looked down to my feet, blushing fiercely. I didn't know I could blush. Then again, I really didn't expect myself to lunge at Freddie and attack his lips like that, with no warning. I just told him I love him. What an awkward little moment between us. I wonder where Sam was. I wonder where the strong, insensitive and tough Sam was hiding. Or rather, I wonder where this Sam that Freddie was kissing a while ago had been hiding all these years. She was probably hiding under a shell, under the tough Sam's shadow. Freddie was the only one seeing this.

He stared at me, eyebrows raised. "So, do you?" he grinned.

"...Yeah." I mumbled. "Y'know, I should leave." I said, and turned around, heading for the door. I trembled with each step, and reached for the cold, round, shiny doorknob. Before I even laid my hands on it, Freddie had grabbed hold of my arm, and said, "No." I just shrugged and reached for the doorknob again, when the door creaked open and Carly emerged. Freddie, having something really weird run through his mind, immediately pulled me close to him and crashed my lips with his. I think he wanted Carly to know that we didn't hate each other. I gently placed my hands on his shoulders and my arms snaked around his neck as his hands ran up and down my back. I pulled away. He brushed hair off my face as we looked at Carly. She was staring, mouth open and smiling.

"What? How? Why?" she asked both of us, looking from Freddie, then me, then to the both of us, smiling widely and still not believing what she saw. She had a surprised, bewildered look on her face.

"Oh, just some twist of fate." I replied. "But hey, I'm still the same 'ol Sam." I said, punching Freddie in the gut lightly. We all laughed.

"No kidding."